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Comments:
I got over our last relationship quickly, will do it even quicker now. Being the nice guy, and being someone with moral standards is something entirely different. She was bending her life for me in the relationship, not the other way around. I have my plan and my vision of development, of family and of success and happiness. She agreed with how I viewed the world up to a certain point, in which her low self-esteem took over.
If I meet a guy for a first date and he runs up a tab for dinner and wine that I wasn't anticipating, at his urging- I'd expect that he would at the very least cover his share.
I'm not going to be a chump. I want to hear her side of the story, whatever it may be. Then I will take my course of action.
The other thing I found to be curious is that you have a full paragraph describing your friendship with Dan. How you met, how your relationship has been, why you still talk - a good summary of your relationship with this friend. You put in a little effort to allow us to get to know and understand that relationship. But what about your boyfriend? All we know here is the negative actions he's taken. I don't know - I find that curious.
And to answer your question Sultry, we dated for 3 months last summer, it ended because I had to move on for work and neither of us thought a long-distance relationship would be a good idea.
Maybe when we start to argue we should just take some time to cool off before trying to talk? Do you think that would work?
Each one of these guys that you've described sound horrible. It's sounds like that have a "bad boy" streak to them. And it sounds like your boyfriend is a good guy. Someone that's loyal and treats you with kindness. But, you find it a bit boring. But, here's the rub about these "bad boys". If they are "bad boys" and have the reputation of being a "bad boy", then logic dictates that it's only a matter of time BEFORE THEY START TREATING YOU BADLY!!!!
If the guy is ordering paternity tests even though he really-honestly doesn't believe there's any reason to doubt that he's the father...then it's that he's clueless as to what this particular medical test does. He may as well get tested for ovarian problems, while he's at it . It's just ignorance of biology and medical tests, IMO. (Certainly not "insulting" to the woman, if this is the case.)
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What kind of move do I make? My biggest concern is that he's not interested in me and I mess up the incredible hanging out and spending time together that I have right now.
Originally Posted by roxan
I'd have to go with what Mako said. For a girl to not initiate contact or make dates show lack of investment on her part. I think there are many reasons why a girl would not want to get emotionally invested with a guy (or not immediately anyway).
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I tried to start a conversation about this last week - as soon as I mentioned it he got ridiculously angry and walked off, refusing to see me that night. The day after was his birthday - I am ashamed to say I called him and asked to see him when I was supposed to leave him alone. We had a little chat but had agreed to meet Saturday night and have a deep chat about everything. Saturday night we went out for dinner, he just said he wants us to be happy, not arguing all the time. He said he wants us to stop walking out when we have an argument, and learn to deal with things. I said I want him to stop being so angry.
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Don't give her a hard time about it and respect her privacy concerning the whole thing. It's a very personal thing and she might be insecure and ashamed about it, just like her cousin bragging to be the only one not on meds. Plus, you've been together for only four months and if it's something she's not comfortable with herself for taking - didn't admit it to the cousin - she is not going to feel ready telling you about it just yet.
I do not know what to think. I do not know if what he is saying is true, or if he does not like me. I do not know how he can come to a conclusion based on only one meeting (I did not). I don't know if he does not like my looks. Actually, I am not self-conscious about my looks. A lot of men ask me out and I know that this sounds stupid when you say it, but people have told me that I look above the average. Maybe I am not his type? Physically, he wasn't my type, but I am not entirely and only concerned about that. After all this, I started to think about him and I cannot get him out of my head. Is it possible that he has somebody else in mind? I find his explanation hard to believe because he knew from the beginning that if we get toghter, that it will be a long-distance relationship, so that's why I am left very confused. Why did he even start anything?
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If the thought of kissing an attractive man repulses you, it's certainly not normal.
Hi..Today's reminder: Our kind words nicely affect those to whom we spea.
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Old fashion values would have you out going to parties, weddings, churches, parks, beaches, cook outs, etc., to meet men. That's how it was done in the old days. Do you have a lot of friends?
Some people say that men like women who challenge them, so being too nice, easy, and accommodating is doing exactly the opposite of that. I find it interesting because I only get "challenging" to friends I know very well or people I meet outside of the dating scene. Guess it's because I'm more relaxed then so my true self gets to come out.
I don't know what your hobbies or interests are in life, but focus on those and try to be places where you'll find single girls with similar interests. Most of the time, they want to meet new guys just as much as you want to meet new girls, you just have to initiate in some form.
Imagine how he feels.
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Agreed. It's all about respect.
It's possible that she has unresolved attachment issues from childhood but that is for a professional to resolve. How old are you both, BTW?